Relationship Trust Building
Do you know these 7
concrete ways to build trust in a relationship? Often, what really makes a relationship work are not the
things we think of first. For instance, do you think you always need to spice things up? Wrong!
Predictability is more important than variety in a relationship. The following seven methods are guaranteed
to grow your connection by improving the level of trust in a relationship.
First, as I mentioned in
the opening paragraph, you need to be predictable. This goes against the common notion that you need to “stir
things up” to keep the romance alive. Sure, going to a new restaurant or giving a surprise gift can be nice,
but most of all, we need things to be consistent and steady in order to make our relationships work. Consider
that trust in a relationship is built on being reliable day in and day out.
Next, you need to make
sure that your words always match the message. This means that your partner needs to hear the words which
match your body language. If you say you are happy but you are frowning, your partner doesn’t hear your
words, he or she sees your face and the tone in your voice. Your parter needs to be able to trust what you
are saying. When the words match the message, you build trust in a relationship.
Third, you need to have a
fundamental belief in your partner’s competency. If you don’t you won’t have the trust in a relationship that
you need. When lovingly communicated, the truth is never destructive. When you do not believe that your
partner is competent at some things (or indeed, anything), you violate the trust in a
Don’t keep secrets.
Secrets destroy the trust in a relationship. Be honest and open. Assume everything you know will
eventually come out. Secrets require enormous energy on your part. That is energy that could be going
into building the relationship.
Fifth, don’t be afraid to
let your partner know what your needs are. Don’t make him or her guess what you need. Let them know.
It is okay to think about yourself as long as you are not selfish. Indeed, if you are reluctant to
assert your needs, you may go overboard in the opposite direction and smother your
Sixth, learn to say no.
When your partner voices his or her needs, that is a good thing. But you don’t need to say yes to
everything. A partner cannot respect you if you never say no. Refusing to be subjected to the other
person’s whims actually builds trust in a relationship.
Finally, always pursue
growth. When you plant a flower, you begin by digging in the dirt. Digging in the dirt of our
relationships can sometimes cause pain. But, through that pain, we prepare the soil for future growth. Don’t
be afraid of turmoil, crisis, or questions. These become the fertilizer for growth and change. Embrace
what is difficult.
When you decide to work
on trust in a relationship, you are bound to encounter a little pain. But, as you work through this pain, you
will not only become stronger as an individual, you will also strengthen your